My eyes are hot.

I had a very pleasant Christmas day. Everyone got presents that they loved (I was gifted a lot of books, lots of art stuff, a watch and an MP3 player, Huzzah!), we ate a lot, we had a good game of Trivial Pursuit (which Matt won, surprise, surprise) and generally had a lovely time.

That was nice, because on Boxing Day the 'flu kicked in. Painful coughing, a head full of phlegm, fever, chills, muscle pain, faintness, lack of strength, lack of appetite...

I find it funny that I was lying in bed reading an article about 'How Not To Put on Weight Over the Christmas Season'. Having no appetite for all of the delicious foodstuffs is one way of doing it, I suppose...

So I haven't been busy online or off recently. However, I hope to pick up all my activities again in the next few days, once I'm less contagious. Otherwise, Hogmanay is going to be pretty damn miserable!

I hope you all had good holidays!

'Twas the night before Christmas...

...and all through the house, ten people were cooking, watching TV, reading, insulting each other (largely in an affectionate manner), wrapping presents, playing computer games and writing blog entries.

I am at my parent's house with the entire clan around me. It's going well so far, with few voices raised in anger, and the gin freely flowing. I have spent the whole afternoon cooking, and I have just been banished from the room the wrapping is taking place in, in order that the others involved may wrap presents for me. Yay!

In my usual accident-prone manner, I've been injured several times already, although whether it counts as an accident when someone hits you in the eye with a roll of wrapping paper, or pulls you off a cabin bed, is open to interpretation. I did, however, draw blood with a potato peeler. I guess I'm not losing my touch.

So today's all about the baking and wrapping and singing of carols, and preparing for the big event tomorrow.

Christmas stockings first thing, with a breakfast of croissants. I will be going to church, but that's more for the singing than the religion. When we get back, other presents, followed by much peeling of potatoes and sprouts. Christmas lunch will involve buckets full of bread sauce (Yummy!) and lots of wine, then we'll all settle down for an afternoon of lazing, possibly punctuated by a nice walk.

Anyway, my dears, a very merry Christmas to you, and a happy holiday season whatever your religion or social beliefs.

*raises a glass*

Suicide Bears!

Gunaxf gb gur punevfzn bs gur irel benatr-ybbxvat Furevss Wbua Ohaaryy (erg.), V nz abj tbvat nebhaq pnyyvat crbcyr 'Ubccrq Hc Ubbqyhzf'.
Qnza lbh, JJCI!
*funxrf svfg*

Today's first paragraph makes no sense due to the coding powers of this site.

Oh, I was wandering through the Randi forums and someone had found this site.

The funniest bit?
Suicide bears.
Oh yes.

We have all heard about dolphins and whales beaching them selves
this has been going on for sometime now,but we are now hearing
and learning about larger numbers and its becoming more frequently..

The lord has shown me in a recent dream or vision that this will now
turn to land animals.

Due to the change in polar shift and weather flux we will now begin
to see and hear about bears trying to commit suicide.

If you happen to live in areas with large bear populations
be very careful of these bears.because they will begin to act
like whales and dolfins beaching their selves,but these bears
will go about this in a different way.they will throw them selves
in front of cars and trucks and also you will find them jumping
off cliffs or enter areas where they will be shot and hunted down.
They know the world is in big trouble and they cant bear it any
longer.they have lost their will to live,and we will all hear
and see this in the news,and the scientist will not tell us the
reason why,but the wild life have a sense of the coming planet x
and the tribulation that will follow,for it will be just like it
was in the days of noah when the floods came,and god only saved
two of every kind.all the rest of life will be lost.for god will
show his elect the truth of things to come,and nature is a big
part of gods creation and we should all take notes and be wise.....

Please be extra careful when driving,the time is come!!!

Ye-e-e-e-es.

So, in closing, I must wish my mother a happy birthday
(Happy Birthday!)
and I'll see you next time.

A.O.O.I.B.C.F.*

*An Observation On Incestuous British Comedian Folks

Bill Bailey
Simon Pegg
Dylan Moran
Tamsin Greig
Jessica Stevenson
Martin Freeman
Kevin Eldon
Lucy Davis (Jasper Carrott's daughter)
Peter Serafinowicz (also the voice of Darth Maul)
Nick Frost

The works of Bill Bailey
Big Train
Spaced
The Office
Black Books
Shaun of the Dead
QI
The Archers

Every single one of those comedians and comedy actors have appeared in at least two of these TV shows (and film, and sketches, and radio show).

There's not really a point to this. It's just something I noticed.

Sad, depressing, annoying and good.

Sad: Paisley died on Saturday. Strange that I had so much affection for someone (mouselike) who never came out and played. I'm very upset. I think I'm cried out, though. *sigh*

Depressing: I was talking to a guy (whom I don't even like, and was being polite and making conversation with) on Friday night, then all of a sudden he said "Flora, you're tedious and boring and that's why people don't like you." All I could do was gape. Knowing what people think of him, I suspect projecting of his own neuroses. But, on the other hand, maybe I am boring and tedious.

Annoying: They keep doing fixing work on the railway line at the back of our garden. It's very irritating, and makes it hard to get to sleep.

Good: My sister got me three books by Lynne Truss as a belated birthday present.

Now we know our ABC...

A) Matt has been all kindly and full of husbandly excellence* recently.
So, in a day of happiness and excitement, he had our PS2 replaced, so it again plays DVDs, and got our new internet hooked up at home. So, on Monday, I spent the afternoon sitting on my living room floor in front of the fire, chatting online, watching cartoons and eating onion rings. So hurrah for that.

B) Now we have the opportunity to watch all our horror films, I may have a stab (Oho ho ho, the punnery) at a movie review, if you don't mind being my guinea pigs. My little snuffly, rumpled, scritchity guinea pigs. With your ickle whiskers...

C) I was going to do a ramble about periods and strokes I have had. But then I couldn't be bothered. So count yourself lucky.

D) Conversation we had last night:
ME: Matt, you've got a black thing on your tooth.
MATT: A black thing?
ME: Could be pepper. Or a panther.
MATT: (anxiously) What if it eats my tongue?
ME: (laughing) Why would it eat your tongue?
MATT: Well, it's the nearest fleshy part!
ME: Oh yes, I can see the panther saying "Oooh, a tongue. How delish!"
MATT: Don't be silly. Panthers wouldn't say 'delish'.
ME: ............
MATT: They'd clearly say 'delicious'.
ME: ..........

E) Funny word and funny phrase I heard in today's meeting:
Interoperatibility
Back-end indexing tool

F) Question of the day: Why does my hand smell of coconut?


*I was going to say 'full of husbandly goodness', but if your minds are anything like my mind is, that sounds a little... dodgy.

A Bad Thing.

Now, I need you all to steady yourselves, perhaps sit down and put down any hot beverages you are holding.

Someone has destroyed the 'RECLAM THE STRETS' graffiti.

So it wasn't because senility was setting in that I didn't remember the last time I saw it.
(It was, on the other hand, remarkably unobservant considering I pass it (or it's ex-site now, I guess) an average of twice a day. In my defence, in the mornings I'm reading and in the evenings it's dark.)

In homage to what was undoubtedly some damn fine graffiti, I'm considering making a t-shirt with its picture on.

Rock on, dude. We salute you.


On a related note, the BDP is skankier than ever, what with the incessant dripping of water. The Pigeons are active, in a subdued sort of way. I don't know whether it's the proximity of a human work site that's worrying them, or whether they get S.A.D., but it's slightly unnerving to hear the mournful cry of the Pigeon as you walk in the dark beneath the Bridge.

And (segueing like a mofo) I don't like walking home in the dark. Partially because it really hinders my reading (duh!) and partially because it's creepy.

Why...

...does my eyeball hurt?

...is it still dripping under the BDP two days after the rain stopped?

...can't I remember the last time I saw the 'Reclam the Strets' graffiti?

...can't I resist a sudoku?

...must it be so close to Christmas?

...have I not done my Christmas shopping?

...has someone thrown away my fruit?

...am I worried about towels?

In a world of excitement...

Hurl the confetti, fire the cannons, set off the fireworks!

We should be getting our internet back up and running come the beginning of next week.

It's terribly exciting, mostly as it's taken us ages to get it back. This is, in part, due to BT being asshats, and in part to Matt and I being lazy buggers.

Anyway, they couldn't hook us back up with our old broadband package, but they managed to get us a deal that's about 6 times as fast for the same price. So huzzah. I can catch up on all the websites that I can't touch whilst at work.

Not that I would surf the net whilst at work.
Not me. No.

Also, I got 14 hours of sleep last night. Matt and I went for a nap at 6.30pm as we were both tired, slept through the alarm, then I woke up at 1am. We just thought 'sod it!', turned over, and went back to sleep.
Is this what it feels like to not be sleep-deprived? It's weird.

Lemurs...

I spoke to Nettie on Friday. I was actually shaking, I was so scared, but once we got over the initial nervousness, we got on like a house on fire (complete with all the deaths and loss of belongings and so forth). We talked for two and a half hours, spanning everything from other members of the MoH forum (be afraid, be very afraid!) to gardening.
It was a blast.

Hey, I'll let you in on a secret: Nettie's Australian.
Which reminds me: "sophisticated and grown up", Nettie? I believe your actual description was 'old'. So nyer.

On Saturday we went Christmas shopping. Do you know what's helpful when you go Christmas shopping? Sharp elbows, bags containing hard, pointy things, and a complete disregard for human life.

And I managed to get very little for anyone else, but Matt and I did stumble across a TWENTY PACK (Oh yes) of horror films for only £15.

There's a couple of classics on there - the original House on Haunted Hill, and George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead.

It also contains some... less classic films (18 of them) such as Hellraiser III, Eat and Run, Hell Penitentiary and Bucket of Blood.

We shall have to have a couple of marathons of these, to see whether any of them reach the dizzying heights of both Voodoo Academy and Blood Gnome (and, to a lesser extent, despite its use of midgets, Sideshow).

Sunday, I went shopping for kitchen utensils, then I made a roast lamb joint that I stuffed with anchovies wrapped in ham. That makes the centre of the joint stay moist, and doesn't make it taste of anchovy. I did that and roasted potatoes, onion and garlic. Then I made some chocolate buns with white chocolate chips in, and a chocolate sponge cake. Quite the little homemaker, aren't I?

I would also like to thank Acci for the fantastic parcel of goodies I received this morning. It shall be put to good use, my dear. Thank you.

So.... yeah! Lemurs.

A lump of gammon.

Two Arguments Matt And I Have Had Recently
AKA
A Snapshot Of Our Marriage

1.Whether we do, in fact, need a 6.5 kilo lump of gammon, which I'd named George. (I lost)

2.Whether my use of the word 'momentarily' is accurate (it's a Terry Pratchett thing I picked up). Annoyingly, I knew he was right all along. Bloody pedant.

A Very Disturbing Thing

I was reading online film reviews (yes, I know. What a surprise) and I was on this site, and reading about what sounds like an appalling film, and then after the review came something worse. And this is bad. Take it from someone who has, on her computer, Rolf Harris singing 'I Touch Myself' by the Divinyls. Scroll down to the bottom of the page, and listen to this...

Oh...

And we bought another plant yesterday. A big 'un. I have no idea what type of plant it is, since the label just said "I am easy to care for (hooray)! Keep me in a warm (fat chance) bright room and water me when my soil gets dry (ok)."

So that brings our house plant count up to... about 15. They're on every window sill in the house. It may not sound like an awful lot, but our flat is very small, and some of our plants are very large.

Spike, who's a Dragon Tree (although real, rather'n artificial), and is the oldest of our plants at nearly six years, is about four and a half feet tall.

Giles, the one we bought yesterday, is about two and a half feet.

Several of the others are spider plants, and you know how they grow. They're called Pider, Spidey, Webslinger and Webhead, incidentally.

Ben's a fig tree, Chen is some sort of freaky-ass cactus that looks like he's got all suckers and tentacles, and Joe Scully is... ummm... some other sort of tree.

And then there's all the smaller ones.

I think I have a dependancy on plants. Is there a help group for this sort of thing?