Hastings

Hastings is going in for surgery tomorrow, for the huge abcess in her ear. I'm so afraid that we'll lose her.

Our day at the zoo, let me tell you how it was.

First, we saw the Marabou Stork. It looked crazed, and half-heartedly tried to eat a small child through the bars.

We were delighted to see that "very little threatens them". It gives the most wonderful mental image. "Oh yeah? Oh yeah? Well, you don't threaten me!"

Now, the reason we were at the zoo specifically today was that it was adoptors' day, and all adoptors of animals were invited to come for free. We found the Chevrotain that Matt adopted...

Ok, not the best picture. Matt was very proud anyway.

After that, we went to visit the penguins. As many of you know, Matt's totally obsessed with the penguins. And I made the mistake of letting him loose with the camera.

This penguin was unamused...


...and this penguin was not, as we'd first thought, planning on diving.
I think it was just showing off for the other gender.

Cool half-albino pale penguin.
(Note also the... um... excretions behind the penguins having a lie-down. Niiiice.)

They've recently opened 'Rainbow Landings', where one can buy pots of nectar and feed the Rainbow Lorikeets.
This photo looks like a maniacal lorikeet is attacking Matt's hat. It wasn't...

...even though Matt's looking somewhat apprehensive here.

It's difficult to take a picture with one hand, whilst feeding the birds with the other but, hey, I managed.


And then there were two...

Matt really enjoyed himself.

I liked this one because it was all fluffed up and round, and it looked like a stuffed toy.


Ok, this is where things got weird.
We went to see the Oriental Short-Clawed Otters, only to find two of them getting it on. With tongues.

"They're on to us! Run away! Run awayyyyyy!"

And then we swung past the Red River Hogs. I was pleased to get this picture of the male as he came towards us, as they have funny hairy ears and little beards.

'Why was he coming towards the fence?', I hear you ask. Well, because the female was down by us. And why was he so keen to get to her? In order to PUT HIS FACE INTO HER STREAM OF URINE AND DRINK IT.
In what will be a shock to absolutely no-one who has ever spoken to me, or even read anything I've written, Matt and I spent the rest of the afternoon cracking up at the phrase 'piss-drinking pigs*'.
*Let's see whether that turns up on google...
ETA: DO NOT google this. Porny porn porn.

Matt as (as he said) 'King of the Jungle'.

Jaguar!

Another jaguar!

Ok, this picture of the jaguar makes it look like he has human teeth. I think he looks like a claymation jaguar, actually. Like he should be on Creature Comforts, talking about biscuits in a Yorkshire accent.

Leopard!

Oh no! Matt is doomed!

I think the penguin might have got tired of showing off...

We went back down past the chevrotain. She was out of her little den by this point, and it seems she has a friend...

...possibly a boyfriend. Matt was very suspicious of his intentions.

She came down towards the fence, so Matt got the chance to dote on her close up.


Do you know what might be the second best animal ever, after the duck-billed platypus? Well, that might just be the Tree Porcupine. Oh yes. A spiky animal that can fall on your head (and is very difficult to photograph in a pine tree)!

And then Matt hung out with a giant stuffed penguin...

...and a giant koala.

And then we went home, exhausted.
The End.

Aren't we rugged?

Ok, my agency still haven't found me anything, Hastings had to be taken to the vet with a potentially dangerous abcess in her ear, and I'm sick of tidying up. This week is kind of sucking.

Now that's out of the way, let's get on to something that made me laugh heartily in the supermarket today, and took my mind off it all.

We were picking up some groceries, and Matt had to get some Man-Deodorant (as opposed to my wussy woman deodorant). Sure had an offer on - two for £4 or something - so he was trying to choose which of the rather large range to get. And then we saw this one that looked like bug spray.


Yes, this is Sure Men: Special Edition V8. Can you feel the testosterone?

Since I can't get a non-blurred photo of the writing on the back, let me list the ways in which this deodorant is terribly, terribly manly.

1. Proven to work at 58C, the hottest temperature recorded on earth
2. 1 million molecules of protection
3. Split second reaction speed

I think you'll agree that this is the ruggedest damn deodorant in the world.
Or you'll laugh hysterically.
One of the two.

Of course we had to buy it!
ETA: It smells quite nice, actually. Sort of outdoorsy and peppery.

The Littlest Hobo of Temping

There's a voice that keeps on calling me
Down the road is where I'll always be
Every stop I make, I'll make a new friend
Can't stay for long, just turn around and I'm gone again.
Maybe tomorrow, I'll want settle down,
Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on.

There are a lot of temps, I know, who are only doing it to get paid. For better or for worse, I can't do that. I get emotionally invested in my jobs, and the people and companies involved.

Whether that's because I have been lucky with my jobs, or whether it's because I'm just a people-pleaser, I don't know. But I like getting to know people, getting things to run smoothly, getting to be part of the team.

So, I was kinda upset that my posting at Pseudonym Radio Station ended this Friday. They had been going to employ a permanent member of staff through my agency, and I was hoping that I could go for the job. Thursday morning, as I was trying to recycle a giant cardboard box that had one of the presenters, giggling, in it (don't ask), I was called to the Head Honcho's office, where he told me that V., my closest new friend at work, was taking the job.

I spoke to V. afterwards, and she was upset for a few reasons.
1) She was told that there wasn't enough work for her to do, and she either had to absorb my job into hers or be laid off.
2) Her pay was not increasing.
3) By not being laid off, she was kicking me off the staff.

Sucks for both of us, really.
Anyway, I had a lot of hugs and "But... you can't go!" from people, which was nice.

I had to leave a note for the other close friend I had there, as her shift didn't start until 8.30pm.

In the end, I left her my chocolate bars, as I figured she'd need the sugar more than I would (the News team seem to survive on sugar and caffeine), and a note that started "By the time you read this, I shall be gone."
She's another big fan of Poirot, so I thought that would be apt.

I got a phone call from her at 8.45pm, with her saying "Why are you gone?" in a plaintive voice.

Still, at least no-one cried when I left, unlike my last placement at Pseudonym School, when both I and others did.

So, yeah. The Littlest Hobo of temping, that's me. Every stop I make, I'll make a new friend. Can't stay for long, just turn around and I'm gone again.

*sigh*

My other blogs.

As most of my regular readers know, I started a new blog at the end of last year devoted to the affectionate swapping of tat that happens mostly between me and my sister. It hasn't been updated in a while, as I've lost the tat that she gave me for Christmas, but I have a few posts to go up once I've found it.

Today I have started another. It's an educational and recreational site for children*. Based around an ancient skeletal wrestler.

*Not necessarily an educational or recreational site for children.

I've added them to my links at the right of the page.
So, go visit them. Comment. Enjoy!

TatWars
Learn With El Toro Fuerte