Humiliation.

I said I was going to see Kitty Flanagan.

Well, I did, and she was very good. After the show, I went up to her and asked her for her autograph. I apologised for only having a ripped out sheet from a programme to have her sign, and whilst we were chatting I fished in my bag and brought out what I thought was my foldable pen. She looked at it, and said "What should I sign it with? That lighter? I could set fire to it, if you want..."

At which point I realised that it wasn't my pen I had grabbed from my bag.
*faceplant*

So I rummaged in my bag, found my pen, and flipped it open. She then went "What's that? A razor?"

I'm so embarrassing.

But. I just read this and this

Huh.

Seems I'm not alone.