Tuesday, November 29, 2005

More full of evil than...

The Pussycat Dolls are leading a crusade of shiteness in the charts. Their song, 'Don’t Cha' is... well, not a song as such, more a rhythm for them to grind their various lady bits at the screen. They're trashy, they're sleazy, and I cannot hear 'Don't Cha' without adapting the lyrics from:

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha? Don't cha?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak* like me? Don't cha? Don't cha?


To:

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha? Don't cha?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend had more STDs? Don't cha? Don't cha?


Because, frankly, they all look like you'd want a good wipe down after touching them and I'd prefer my girlfriend not to look like she'd shag anything with limbs. But that's just me.

*Oh, 'freak' seems to mean someone who'll give you a blow job in public and cock-tease all your friends. I bet that's not in the OED.

Anyway, not to be outdone by that, the Black Eyed Peas came out with this... interesting song, which I first figured to be a joke song in the manner of Goldie Lookin' Chain:

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps.


What the buggery?
As Bill Bailey says, "the charts are more full of evil than an Al Queda suggestion box".

I don't know what the world's coming to, I really don't.

In other news, I was at a work thingy last night, where lots of organisations met up and tried to persuade tourist groups to patronise the winter festivals. There were a couple of great quotes from the orators:

1) "54% of the people [of the 100,000 at the Hogmanay party] are from the UK and, indeed, abroad."

2) "Choice is not a nice word. It sounds too much like... moist."

7 Comments:

At 11:40 am, Blogger Mort said...

Choice does sound like Moist, but then why would anybody feel the need to point that out? I hate Black Eyed Peas with a passion especially seeing as my boss likes them and plays their album every Saturday night in the bar (Grrr, workers rights, Grrr). As for the PC dolls, song = Shite. Dolls = fit. But despite this there is far too much PAP in the charts these days.

 
At 3:19 pm, Blogger Charybdis said...

Hm music. Yeah.

Peter, Paul, & Mary were good.

 
At 6:40 pm, Anonymous accipiter said...

So many song lyrics now are either indecipherable, incoherent, or just plain silly. So I tend to ignore the lyrics and listen to the music part instead. Which is kind of a problem, because a lot of songs now don't even have music, just a sort of spastic electronic noise in the background.

 
At 8:03 am, Anonymous Tomato Flavoured Spangle said...

I wonder where the other 46% were from

 
At 9:51 am, Blogger Hieronymus Anonymous said...

I figure they're underminers, spangle. Aliens would still count as abroad, right?

 
At 9:35 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why does it matter that choice sounds like moist?

 
At 11:24 pm, Blogger ScarletManuka said...

I like a really broad range of music but there are two types I just cannot stand - rap and R&b. Unfortunately, that's all they play on the radio these days. Thankfully, God created MP3 players so I can listen to whatever I want in my car.

 

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