Saturday, December 02, 2006


I have spoken to Matt.
I explained that, basically, my brain chemicals hate me. If I take medication*, then they might stop hating me.

So, although I'm terrified, I'll phone the doctor on Monday to make an appointment.

I'd like to thank all of you who commented. I'd also like to apologise for bottling all this up until it sort of exploded. I really appreciate that I have friends like you, and your support is honestly, and highly, appreciated.

I'll keep you updated.

*Last time (I was 18) the medication did nothing, and possibly made me worse. I still have scars from then (as some of you may have seen whilst visiting) and I ended up in the hospital after a suicide attempt. I am terrified that it will re-occur.



At 1:28 am, Blogger ScarletManuka said...

I'm sure you'll fare better with different meds love. You just need to get the courage up to make that doctors appointment.

At 11:32 am, Blogger LaMa said...

You are making a good decision. Maybe you can make an arrangement with your docter that he will not prescribe too large an amount of pills at a time, and have frequent consults to keep an eye on you. That might reduce your fears. This is working well for another friend of mine in the same situation.

Courage, and know we support and love you... * hugs *

At 2:05 pm, Blogger oppiejoe said...



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