Friday, October 14, 2005

Stuff, things and items.

1) There’s a song that’s been played on a television advert recently that goes:
“What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of…”
Having googled it, it appears that it’s called ‘What the World Needs Now’, and is by Diana Ross.
Well, all fine and dandy then.
The trouble is that it makes me so enraged, because it’s just incorrect.
I can think of about fifteen other things that there’s too little of, just off the top of my head.

2) My cousin came to visit us last weekend. She’s C of E, and what threw me most was her calm acceptance that, despite the fact that Matt and I are both nice people, we’re going to burn in hell for all eternity because we don’t accept Jesus into our lives. It’s just left me feeling quite weirded out. I don’t believe she’s right, but…y’know.
Brrrr. Anyway…

3) Patriotism. What’s with that? I love Scotland. It’s pretty, and friendly, and I would argue the good points of living here, and it would break my heart to move away. But I don’t believe it is the best place in the world, and I don’t need to deny the fact there’s a soaring rate of teen pregnancy, or heart attacks or whatever. I don’t think it’s the best place in the world just because I happen to live here. We’re great in some ways: we suck in some ways. Just like every other country in the world.

4) Is it weird to keep my hospital bands from when I’ve had my strokes and stuff?

5) I love fresh fish (not in a sexy way). The smell, the feel, the look of them…
I have a fortnight until I can afford any. Damnit! I’m hungry.

My Adopted Ghost...

The Cuddly Menace.

Disney Tattoo Guy.

Around Cardiff with a Coconut.

German phrasebook.


At 1:58 pm, Blogger Charybdis said...

It's very probable, though not a given, that the version you're hearing is performed by Jackie DeShannon. Her's is considered to be the definitive version and is the one most often played.

At 5:27 am, Anonymous accipiter said...

So, what are the 15 other things that you think the world doesn't have enough of and needs? Personally, I think we need more kiwi fruit, and penguins, and. . .umm. . .giant purple weevils. But it would be a rather interminable song if it included every such thing ("What the world needs now is love, and giant purple weevils, and tapioca, and blank notebook paper, and forceps, and thumbtacks, and socks, and electric left-handed dual-speed turbo-charged nose-hair trimmers, and. . .". I suppose they had to pick and choose.

Next time your cousin visits, you should set your hamster cage up on a big fancy pedestal. Then, if she asks you what that's about, you can tell her that it's an altar of Baal and Vishnu. That should make her day bright and happy.

And I've never really been much on patriotism myself. Considering that I've lived in something like eight different countries (at least one of which doesn't even exist any more), it would be hard to feel loyal to each one. I'd be having to declare war on myself non-stop, and have to beat myself to a pulp daily. That would grow wearisome rather quickly. Really, every place has its advantages and disadvantages. The trick is in finding the place where the most advantages are in your favour, and the disadvantages least bother you. That's rather difficult to manage, though, so you're best off just living wherever you find that's comfortable enough for you.

Oh, and yes, it is weird to keep your old hospital bands. You're obviously mentally unstable, and should be confined in a hospital for your own good (and where you can collect even more bands!).

At 3:41 pm, Blogger LaMa said...

The German phrase book link was fun. I have a seriously meant Malay phrasebook here, which contains, in chapter 7 "teachers", odd phrases like:

Ada guru yang berjudi dan minum minuman keras

which translates:

"Some teachers gamble and go to bars"

At 12:49 am, Blogger Camille Moriarty said...

My Grandmother is one of those terribly evangelical people and my mother has a deathly fear of all things Catholic (supposedly the Pope is the source of many of the world's problems, including overpopulation) so I definitely feel your pain. And I think the world needs more cheap hair dye, among other things.

At 1:08 am, Anonymous accipiter said...

I once ended up with a Polish phrase book that had such handy selections as, "If you don't bring me my meal within the next 15 minutes, I will burn down your restaurant" and, "How much do you want for your eldest daughter?" I actually did find a use for the former one (I had a rather nonhelpful waiter), although not for the latter.

At 11:50 pm, Blogger Camille Moriarty said...

Our Czech phrasebook taught us how to express the need for an urgent abortion, but I don't remember the phrasing.


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