Nerdfest 2007

AKA: Conversations between Matt and me.

1) The Napoleon conversation: spending the entire walk back from Sainsbury’s with Matt being Napoleon and me being a soldier.
Me: “Can I have some juice?”
Matt: “I’ve told you before, we don’t have any juice! You’ll have to wait until we get back to France.”
Me: “But I’m thirsty! And I need to do a wee.”
Matt: “Well, you should have gone before we left Russia.”

2) When cooking together, we tend to pretend to be presenters on Ready Steady Cook, talk to the imaginary audience and answer the imaginary questions from the imaginary viewers.
Me: “Now, we have a very interesting question here from Margaret in Surrey. Hello there, Margaret! Now, she wants to know how to make the perfect roast.”
Matt: “Well, I have to say that, personally, I think you can’t go wrong with a good drizzle of some quality olive oil, some garlic and some rosemary. It’s really just a matter of experimenting to see what flavours work for you.”

3) If either of us say “Stop!”, or “...it’s (whatever) time.” then we launch into the musical intro to Hammer Time and do a little dance to go with.

4) On Saturday we went to a little tea shop to get paninis for lunch. I can’t remember why, but the conversation gradually changed into an interview regarding pimpin’.
Me: “It just seems to me that it’s a very labour intensive career path...”
Matt: “Here, let me give you some informative literature. This is Yo and Yo Ho, which is really a more informal look at how to deal with your girls.
Me: “Well, I’ll take this away and have a look at it, and I’ll be in touch soon.”
Matt: “Excellent. Our phone number’s on the back of all our pamphlets.”

5) Our slotted spoon is called the slotted pig, due to Toy Story 2. This leads to conversations starting "Could you pass the slotted pig? I need to get the bacon pieces out of the frying pan."

Yeah, yeah. I know.