Saturday, May 21, 2011

On reflection, this doesn't seem like such a hot idea.

It's Saturday. On Sunday, we are going to try dirt biking. I have been freely cracking jokes about limb breaking and so on, but I am honestly getting a little nervous. My mother's reaction... well, it didn't help. Even after I told her about all the safety gear I'll be wearing (and the fact that some of Matt's workmates are bringing their children). The tremulous voice as she whispered "Just... be careful, all right?" has made me maybe a tad paranoid.

The thing is, as you all know, I am a little accident prone. A touch on the clumsy side. I am assured that it is a charming quirk of character, and only makes me even more loveable, but it does make for a high-risk life. Also, it makes people assume some sort of tragedy will befall me. The secondary thing is, when I point out that I will probably be fine, these people (of whom there are quite a few) have a whole list of "what about the time?" examples. Damn them.

So, hmm.
1) Broken leg. Car accident, not my fault.
2) Cracked skull. Fell off a swing that I was trying to stand up on onto concrete. Not my fault, because the Council shouldn't have put concrete under the child's play park.
3) Broken finger. Fell off a wall that I was running along. Totally the Council's fault again for not having maintained the wall's physical integrity.
4) Broken wrist. Ok, this one was my doctor's fault, for real. She made me wear flat shoes because I was having a nerve issue in my foot. And then my trousers were too long, and I fell over. There is no way that was not her fault.
5) Broken toe. I dropped a full jar of sauce on it. Accidentally, I hasten to add. It's not my 'thing' to hurl pasta sauce at parts of my body (well, not whilst it's in the jar, anyway). Not my fault. It's... It was... Hmm. yeah, that one was my fault. But bonus points for catching it in a fold of dressing gown a week later and re-breaking it!

And that's just the breaks!
I'm sure some of my friends will remember years ago when I arrived at the forum in a panic from work because I'd accidentally stabbed myself in the hand with a knife I'd been using to open a parcel with, and I couldn't find the first aid kit. I don't remember who it was that suggested paper towels for stopping the bleeding and sellotape to hold the wound shut, but I am eternally grateful to you! (That's totally my favourite scar, by the way.)

Huh, and that's just reminded me about the time I accidentally sliced the edge off my finger at that very same workplace.

And that reminds me of myriad incidents.

Soooo... see title.
Don't worry too much, Matt knows to contact people if I do end up in A&E.

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At 9:49 am, Blogger Smerk said...

Heh, I remember the time you managed to set your hair on fire when the lightbulb blew out...

At 10:15 am, Blogger Hieronymous Anonymous said...


At 10:33 am, Blogger Mouse said...

What was it you injured falling off that unicycle? ;-)

At 11:10 am, Blogger Hieronymous Anonymous said...

My ankle.
1) It wasn't broken, or so the nice doctors at the A&E said, and
2) NOT MY FAULT! It only had one wheel. ONE WHEEL, for christ's sake! Also, I didn't volunteer to ride it. These are bikes and have two wheels, so I'll be totally fine.


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